Burnout often gets described as feeling overworked or overwhelmed. In sessions, people often describe being ‘beyond exhausted,’ ‘running on empty,’ or having ‘nothing left to give. At first glance, maybe this is something that can be solved by taking a break or getting some rest. But for many neurodivergent folks, burnout isn’t just about needing a vacation, it’s a nervous system response to chronic stress and impossible expectations. 

This kind of burnout comes from navigating a world built for neurotypicals. It’s not just too much work—it’s too much effort spent trying to fit in, masking, ignoring or being disconnected from internal signals, people pleasing, following unspoken social rules, or pretending you’re not overwhelmed by things others don’t even notice.

What Does Neurodivergent Burnout Feel Like? 

It’s more than being tired. It’s being drained to the point that even resting doesn’t feel restorative. In her new book The Autistic Burnout Workbook, AuDHD Psychologist Dr. Megan Neff includes a checklist separating symptoms into three main clusters; pervasive physical, emotional, and cognitive exhaustion. An increase in sensory sensitivities, and loss of skills. 

For some, it might show up as:

• Emotional numbness or shutdown. 
• Difficulty with basic tasks like showering or replying to a message. 
• Sudden sensitivity to light, noise, or touch. 
• Struggling to make decisions or communicate clearly. 
• Increased difficulty with change, struggling to transition between activities and tasks, or needing to stick strictly to routines (more than usual). 
• Feeling irritable or extreme emotion at seemingly small inconveniences or friction with loved ones. 
• Feeling detached from people or passions you used to care about. 
• A sense of often feeling unwell, exhausted, and like you’re on the edge of getting sick or constant physical symptoms like migraines or stomach aches. 

Why It Happens

Many neurodivergent people—especially those who are autistic, ADHDers, or both – spend much of their day masking. Masking is the act of (consciously or unconsciously) hiding or suppressing traits that might be seen as “different,” like stimming, avoiding eye contact, or needing extra time to process information. Often this is done to try to blend into societal and social expectations. Us neurodivergent folks tend to have high internal expectations of ourselves as well, and we can get frustrated when we can’t meet them. 

This takes a lot of energy. Over time, the emotional and cognitive effort of masking can add up, often unnoticed, until our system completely crashes. On top of that, many environments (like school, work, or family systems) don’t recognize or support neurodivergent needs, which adds even more stress.

From a nervous system point of view, burnout can happen when your body stays in stress mode for too long. According to Polyvagal Theory, which explains how our bodies move between states of safety, alertness, and shutdown, if you’re often masking or pushing through overwhelm, your body may stay stuck in alert mode – like it’s constantly bracing for danger. If that goes on too long, your system might eventually shut down to protect you – like a computer overheating. It’s your body’s way of saying, “I can’t keep going.” You might feel numb, tired, or disconnected. This isn’t a failure. It’s your body asking for care and safety.

Healing: Why Rest Alone Doesn’t Solve It

Rest is important – but when burnout is caused by living in constant vigilance and adaptation mode, true recovery also means reducing the urge to cope or protect yourself by masking or suppressing who you are.

Part of recovery may also mean adjusting your own expectations. You might not be able to do everything you used to—and that can be hard to come to terms with. It can be important to grieve the energy, focus, or capacity you once had. That grief is real. Healing from burnout often means you can’t just go back to how things were because it restarts the burnout cycle. It means learning to live differently, in a way that’s kinder to your nervous system and more honest about what you actually need.

Healing might involve:

• Being around people who accept and affirm you without expecting you to “perform”. 
• Pacing your energy output and developing awareness of your capacity in the moment. 
• Improving your connection to your nervous system, recognizing when an alert doesn’t mean danger. 
• Giving yourself permission to stim, fidget, or move the way your body wants to. 
• Setting boundaries around sensory input, social interactions, or emotional labor. 
• Working with a therapist who understands neurodivergence not as a problem to fix, but a difference to honor. 

This isn’t giving up; it’s a shift toward living in a way that actually works for you.

Burnout Is a Signal, Not a Flaw. 

There’s nothing wrong with you for hitting a wall. Burnout is a sign that your nervous system needs care, not correction. If you’re neurodivergent and feeling burnt out, the solution isn’t to push harder or “get back to normal.” It’s to reset your nervous system with rest, lowering demands, pursuing what makes you truly happy, and finding a rhythm that supports the way your brain and body actually work.

At Calm Harbour Counselling, we see and support clients through neurodivergent burnout with care that’s affirming, non-judgmental, and adapted to your needs. We’re proudly neurodivergent owned, and all of our therapists are either neurodivergent themselves or have received specific training, supervision, and experience in affirming and supporting ADHD and autistic clients.

You don’t have to keep pushing through and pretending you’re okay. We’re here to help you calm your system, reconnect with yourself, and support your recovery at your own pace. 

Resources for Further Learning 

Autistic Burnout Workbook by Dr. Megan Anna Neff (AuDHD psychologist), as well as their website NeurodivergentInsights.com.

Struggle Care podcast by KC Davis (social worker with ADHD).
Also recommended: her book How to Keep House While Drowning and her TikTok: @domesticblisters.

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price (Social Psychologist and Autistic Advocate)