Written by Laura Coulombe, Registered Psychologist & Founder of Eclipse Psychology
www.eclipsepsychology.ca

Introduction

You may have heard of this weird sounding type of therapy called EMDR, otherwise known as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is certainly a mouthful, but it is also a well researched and evidence based therapy that has been shown to be highly effective in helping people process distressing experiences and reduce the emotional intensity associated with difficult memories.

While EMDR is best known for treating trauma and PTSD, it can also be helpful for a wide range of concerns, including anxiety, self esteem issues, relationship challenges, and more. Keep reading to learn how EMDR works and whether it might be a good fit for you.

What Is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR therapy is a powerful therapeutic approach that helps people process distressing memories that continue to affect them in the present day.

These experiences may be what we often refer to as “Big T” traumas, such as physical or sexual assault, abuse, serious accidents, natural disasters, medical trauma, military combat, or the sudden loss of a loved one. They may also be “small t” traumas, such as bullying, chronic criticism, relationship difficulties, emotional neglect, rejection, family conflict, or other experiences that may not seem traumatic to others but have left a lasting impact.

Regardless of the size, circumstances, or perceived severity of an event, what matters most is how it continues to affect you today. If a past experience influences how you think, feel, behave, view yourself, relate to others, or engage with the world around you, it may be something that can be addressed through EMDR therapy.

The goal of EMDR is not to erase memories or pretend difficult experiences never happened. Rather, it helps the brain process those experiences in a way that allows them to feel like something that happened in the past, rather than something that continues to affect your present day life.

How Does EMDR Work?

When we experience something overwhelming or distressing, the brain does not always fully process the event. Instead, aspects of the memory, including thoughts, emotions, body sensations, and beliefs, can become “stuck,” causing the experience to continue influencing us long after the event has passed.

EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, tapping, or alternating sounds, while you briefly focus on a distressing memory. This process engages what is known as dual attention awareness, meaning that you are simultaneously connected to the memory while remaining grounded in the safety of the present moment.

Although researchers are still studying the exact mechanisms behind EMDR, evidence suggests that this process helps the brain reprocess memories in a more adaptive way. As a result, distressing experiences often become less emotionally charged, allowing new perspectives, insights, and healthier beliefs to emerge.

One way to think about it is that EMDR helps the brain place an appropriate “time stamp” on a memory. For example, if you were involved in a car accident three years ago, your nervous system may still react as though the danger is happening right now whenever you get behind the wheel. Through EMDR, the memory remains, but your brain and body can begin to recognize that the event is over and no longer occurring in the present moment.

The Eight Phases of EMDR Therapy

EMDR follows a structured eight phase approach:

1. History taking and treatment planning
2. Preparation and skill building
3. Assessment of target memories
4. Desensitization
5. Installation of positive beliefs
6. Body scan
7. Closure
8. Reevaluation

Each phase serves an important purpose in ensuring that therapy progresses safely, effectively, and at a pace that feels manageable for the client.

Who Can Benefit from EMDR?

Many people can benefit from EMDR therapy.

While EMDR is widely recognized as an effective treatment for PTSD, it has also been used to help individuals struggling with anxiety, depression, panic attacks, relationship difficulties, low self esteem, negative self beliefs, grief, performance anxiety, and certain eating disorders, among other concerns.

At its core, EMDR can be helpful for anyone who feels that experiences from their past continue to affect their present day life. Whether those experiences seem significant or relatively minor, they may still contribute to patterns of thinking, feeling, or behaving that no longer serve you.

In addition to reducing the emotional impact of difficult experiences, EMDR often helps people develop a deeper understanding of themselves. Many clients gain insight into why they react in certain situations, why specific triggers affect them so strongly, and how past experiences have shaped their beliefs about themselves, others, and the world.

What Can You Expect During an EMDR Session?

The type of bilateral stimulation used during EMDR may vary from therapist to therapist. Some clinicians use a light bar that moves back and forth, while others use handheld tactile devices, often called “buzzies,” alternating tones through headphones, tapping, or guided eye movements. For children, bilateral stimulation may be incorporated through playful activities such as tapping games, walking patterns, or other movement based exercises.

Early in the process, your therapist will help you identify the memories, experiences, and themes that may be contributing to your current distress. This could involve exploring negative beliefs about yourself, recurring relationship patterns, anxiety triggers, or emotional reactions that seem difficult to understand.

As connections begin to emerge, many clients gain valuable insight into the experiences that have shaped their current struggles.

During reprocessing, your therapist will guide you through bilateral stimulation while you briefly notice the thoughts, feelings, images, memories, and body sensations associated with a particular experience. You are not expected to force anything or analyze every detail. Instead, the process allows your brain to naturally make connections and process information in a new way.

Over time, many people notice that distressing memories feel less overwhelming. Negative beliefs often lose their intensity, and new, more adaptive perspectives begin to develop. Throughout the process, your therapist will regularly check in with you to ensure you feel supported, grounded, and emotionally safe.

Common Myths About EMDR

Myth #1: EMDR Erases Memories

EMDR does not erase memories. Instead, it helps reduce the emotional distress associated with them. Most people still remember what happened, but the memory no longer feels as overwhelming or disruptive.

Myth #2: You Have to Relive Trauma

Clients do not need to recount every detail of a traumatic experience for EMDR to be effective. While some focus on difficult memories is necessary, EMDR is designed to help people process experiences without prolonged exposure to distressing content.

Myth #3: EMDR Works Instantly

While some people experience significant relief in a relatively short period of time, healing is not the same for everyone. The number of sessions needed depends on factors such as the complexity of the concerns being addressed, a person’s history, and their treatment goals.

Myth #4: EMDR Is Only for Trauma

Although EMDR was originally developed to treat trauma, it is now commonly used to address a variety of concerns, including anxiety, panic, grief, self esteem issues, performance anxiety, and relationship difficulties.

Final Thoughts

Healing from trauma and other difficult life experiences is possible.

EMDR therapy offers a structured, evidence based approach that helps many individuals process painful experiences, reduce emotional distress, and develop healthier ways of relating to themselves and the world around them.

While everyone’s healing journey looks different, EMDR can be a powerful tool for helping the past feel like the past, allowing you to move forward with greater confidence, resilience, and freedom in your daily life.